


She Speaks Russian

by Mad_Muse_Musings



Series: Femslash Takeover [3]
Category: Iron Man (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: F/F, Getting Together, Natasha is creative, Sex Toys Discused
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-03-05
Updated: 2014-03-05
Packaged: 2018-01-14 14:52:28
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,366
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1270570
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Mad_Muse_Musings/pseuds/Mad_Muse_Musings
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Natasha wants to get Pepper's attention, and she is not above killing two birds with one stone and being creative.</p><p>Written for the prompt: March - Secret Admirers for the Femslash Takeover Challenge</p>
            </blockquote>





	She Speaks Russian

Pepper held the piece of paper up, tilting her head back and forth while she attempted to figure out what was written on it, but in all honesty, it looked like chicken scratch to her.

“JARVIS, what does this say?” She asked.

“I am sorry Ms. Potts, I have been threatened quite thoroughly to insure that I would not translate that message for you. And while my loyalty will always be to Sir and by proxy you, my self-perseveration protocols insist that I do not test the person who threatened to dunk my mother board in hydrofluoric acid, ‘for funsies’, if I translated that.”

Pepper snorted, listening to the stiff British AI system say ‘for funsies’ almost made her want to roll on the floor laughing. “And who exactly gave that order?”

“As it would aid you in your attempts to translate the paper, I am not permitted to say, ma’am.”

“Of course.” Pepper was getting tired of living in a world of spies and super heroes. It was fucking exhausting on the best of days, and on the days that they wanted to play decode this language to read this letter, she wanted to slam Phil Coulson’s head through a plate glass window and call it a day. Because her life had been complicated with Tony, but once Phil appeared it was exponential growth of complications. And then there was Natasha, she didn’t make anything less complicated on her own, but then she had introduced Pepper to Clint. Ex circus con or not, that man gave Pepper the impression that if Natasha ever said a bad word about her, she would find herself on the wrong end of an arrow that would kill her. “Well, I guess whoever left this for me better hope it’s not time sensitive. I don’t have time to figure out what language this is, let alone learn said language, today.”

“I’ll make sure they get the memo, ma’am.”

Pepper sagged back into her desk chair, prepared for someone to angrily come busting into her office, but when nothing happened she frowned. Well, maybe it wasn’t time sensitive so the other person would let her take her time.

Which is how Pepper found herself sitting at the computer at a quarter to ten comparing alphabets of languages, in alphabetical order, to the written note.

“You know, this is supposed to be my shtick, right? The get so engrossed in work someone has to come physically pull me away?” Tony said, leaning against the doorway.

Pepper jerked, turning her attention to him. “Did you give me this?” She asked holding the paper out.

“Yea right, Pep, like I use _paper_ anymore.”

“Well, do you know what language this is then? I am only on the G’s, and I don’t have all night.” Pepper asked.

“Why don’t you just ask J?”

Pepper rolled her eyes. “I tried, apparently who ever left this for me threatened him with…”

“Hydrofluoric acid to the motherboard, ma’am.” JARVIS supplied for her.

“Yea, that.”

“Ouch, J, who did you piss off?” Tony asked, taking long steps across the office to take the paper.

“Normally you are pissing people off, Sir, and I simply suffer the consequences. But I assure you that no pissing off has occurred, the person who made the threat was simply insuring I would not aid Ms. Potts in her quest to decode this letter.”

“Ouch, J, ouch.” Tony mocked hurt, but was looking at the paper now. Tapping his lip with his free hand, Tony hummed. “Russian maybe? I feel like this might be Russian.”

Pepper held her left hand out for the paper while navigating on her computer to the Russian alphabet. Comparing them, a smile crept up on her face. “I would kiss you, if I didn’t think of you like an annoying kid brother, right now.”

“Ouch Pep, ouch. I’m older than you!”

Pepper waved her hand in dismissal at Tony, only to change it into a hand being held out for something. “Credit card.”

“For what? And you already have all my credit card crap.”

“The Visa expired last month, you should have gotten the new card.” Pepper said, ignoring the first question.

“You aren’t getting the shiny new Visa until you tell me what you are ordering. I mean I know about the sex toys you ordered when you were my PA already. Actually on that note, how is a $134 vibrator that looks like a flower? Amazing?”

“I took your _trash_ out in the mornings, and dry cleaned their clothes. Don’t you dare give me shit for ordering vibrators when I had to make midnight dry cleaner runs. No one is okay with me leaving post-coital cuddles for someone else’s errands. And believe it or not Tony, I have needs too.”

“Pepper Potts, the post-coital cuddler. Hu, who would have thought?” Tony teases, and the glint in his eye says he would have indeed thought. “Seriously, I’ll pay for anything you want, I am just curious.”

Pepper rolled her eyes. “I taught myself Mandarin off of Rosetta Stone, I figure I can teach myself Russian too.”

“See, was that so hard?” Tony said, fishing his wallet out of his back pocket and passing her the Visa. “Wait, you know Mandarin?”

“Of course I know Mandarin, Tony. We do more business with China than apparently you are aware, even if it is just for me to tell them to fuck off, I do not want to buy a factory there to put their people into slave labor. However, we do have a significant amount of employees who are also from China, I think they appreciate when I can have a conversation with them in their native tongue.”

“What other languages do you know?” Tony asked, narrowing his eyes at her like she was keeping some awful secret.

“Took French in college, though I don’t know how much of that I actually remember.” Pepper said, all the while putting in her order for the software.

“It’s like I don’t even know you.”

“You forgot I was allergic to strawberries, Tony! Why on earth would you remember the things that let me run your company when you can’t even remember the things that will kill me?” Pepper said, rolling her eyes before handing him the card back, the new information saved in her Amazon account.

“So the letter is from Natasha. Sneaky Russian woman.”

“You’re still bitter she didn’t consult you about saving your life.”

“She stabbed me in the neck!”

“She saved your life! By the by, next time you’re dying, letting me know? Could we do that?”

Tony mock saluted her before turning around. “If you are going to buy any more $100 plus vibrators on my credit card, I am having JARVIS make recordings.”

“ _I’ll_ soak his mother board in acid if you do!” She yelled after his retreating form.

“Exhibit A, Sir, about how your actions bring me potential harm.” JARVIS said, projecting his voice in both Pepper’s office and the hallway Tony was walking down.

* * *

 

“This might have been the single handedly most exhausting secret admirer hunt I have ever been on in my life.” Pepper said, sitting down with Natasha on the couch, nearly four months after she had ordered Rosetta Stone.

“But now I can talk dirty to you in Russian and no one else will know.” Natasha said with a wink. “I have to admit, I was getting pretty worried you had given up.”

Pepper blinked hard at her. “It’s like you don’t even know me.”

“Nope, but I would like to.” Natasha said with a smirk before giving Pepper a quick kiss.

“Hey, get back here. I worked for four months to be able to translate that damn letter, which was just a bunch of florally ways to ask me out, and you only give me a quick peck?”

Natasha grinned. “Fair enough.” She moved to straddle Pepper’s lap. “Better?”

“Much better.” Pepper grinned, her hands resting on Natasha’s hips. “Now kiss me.”

“So bossy.”

Pepper raised her eyebrow. “I hope you knew that was a trait, going after a CEO.”

Natasha grinned before leaning in, capturing her lips, ending the conversation.


End file.
